It doesn't take much to bake a pie.
For Abigail, the hardest part of the whole baking process was simply acquiring the ingredients. The plucky little elephant shrew was a wanderer. Sure she would take up residence somewhere for a bit, but somehow her home would, well, disappear...
Her current home-sweet-home was in an apartment. Or rather, a hidden mouse hole in an apartment kitchen. The mouse before her had left a remarkable little oven. Every so often, when she was sure her large roommate was away, Abigail would venture out in search of supplies.
Having her little heart sat on a cherry pie, the shrew gathered a knapsack and a measuring cup. She carefully peeked out and gave a cautionary sniff. Coast clear! ...or as far as her rosy nose could tell. She scurried out of her hiding place and approached the door of a wooden cabinet. With rodent-like quickness, she scaled the paneling and climbed atop the counter.
"Made it," she squeaked reaffirmingly to herself.
The small critter ventured towards a trio of lidded containers. She adjusted her tiny spectacles and squinted.
"I believe this...is the flour!"
With that she leapt on top of the stoutest container and flipped the attached lid.
Peering inside she saw a small hill of flour. Far more than she needed, but it was too far down for her to reach from the lip.
Holding her breath, she let herself fall into the jar.
As she landed, a small cloud of flour rose up around her.
"....oh no...."
The fine white grain coated her long snout.
"....hhhh..."
The tip of her snout wriggled against the foreign tickle.
"....hhhihhhh.....
...hhhhhhiiiihhhhh..."
Her tiny nostrils flared, her soft breaths pulling in more of what tickled them.
"....hhhhhiihhhh....
........hhhhhhhhaaaa..."
She inhaled deeply before a tornadic wind escaped her.
"...hhhahhh....SSSTCHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
The force of her release shot her high into the air and the jar straight into the wall.
She managed to scoop some flour into her pack before tumbling down.
"Oh my", Abigail cried. "I almost lost it all!"
As the shrew fell back onto the counter, she knocked into an odd cylinder. It toppled over, emitting a soft, sandy noise as it did so.
Curious, she once more adjusted her spectacles and approached it. Being far-sighted, she wasn't always the best judge of items up close. But she didn't let that deter her.
"What do we have here," she remarked to herself." As she stepped closer, she felt her paw meet a pile of something.
"Is this sand? Oh no no no, that would be silly! Animals don't go about seasoning with sand!"
She knelt down to grab a pawful to investigate.
"This HAS to be suga-... shug.... hhhihhh...."
Umfortunately the shrew's mere movements caused the spice in her paws, as well as that at her feet, to waft.
A tingly tickle begun in her shivering nostrils.
"...gehhhhh........"
The tingle teased her nose a shade darker as it tickled its way into her delicate sinuses.
"...hhhiihhhh......
.....hhhohhhh.....nnn-.... nooo......"
Her tender snout scrunched as a fiery need to expel grew.
".....ahhhhh....."
"....ahhhhh......!"
Her tiny chest puffed out with every soft, hitching breath.
"....ahhhhh....
.....ahhhhh...
.....ahhhhhh.....!"
Unable to fight the relentless tickle, her snout erupted.
"....ahhhhh-TSCHOOOOOO!!!!"
Her massive sneeze sent the cylinder slamminging into the wall beford her.
A shroud of potent white pepper enveloped her.
"...ahhhh......"
The shrew was helpless against the devilish spice.
".....gggehhhhh..... hhhhhihhh....."
Her eyes rolled back as she helplessly inhaled more of the irritant.
"...hhhhaaahhh....."
Her well-seasoned sinuses painted her quivering nares crimson.
"....hhhhhaaaahhhhhh....
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!"
The shrew's usually tiny nostrils gaped with irritation. Her every shuddering hitch brought her closer to a well-needed release.
"....ahhhhhhhhhh!"
.....ahhhhhhhhh!!!
....ahhhhh-TSCHOOOOOO!!!!!"
A powerful gust escaped her, tearing the cabinets from the wall.
"....white pepper...." she whined with a sniff.
"....ahh...ahh'm terribly aller-ah....allergiihhhh...."
Her snout scrunched with need, unable to escape the effects of the nefarious spice it had inhaled.
"....gihh....hihhh...
...hhhihhh......
....hhhhahhh....."
Despite her wishes, Abigail couldn't fight it.
The sneeze was on its way.
"....hhhhaaaaa....."
The shrew tilted her head back in anticipation.
"......ahhhhhh.......!"
".....HAAAAHHH-TSCHOOOOOOOO!!!!"
A ferocious wind roared from her small body, taking the rest of the kitchen with it.
"....hhhahhhh...."
The shrew, overwhelmed with yet another brewing sneeze, tried to make her way outside.
".....ahhhhh.....!"
But alas, with all the pepper, her allergies, and a cold to boot, she was trapped in a sneezing fit .
"......hhhhhahhhhh....
...AHHHH-STCHOOOO!!!"
With a monstrous gust, the sneeze blew apart the living room.
"...hhhaaa...."
Her snout twisted and writhed, a warning sign of an impending sneeze.
With a desperate hitch, the poor shrew made it to the front door before the inevitable.
"....ahhh....
....ahhhh.....
...AHHHH-TSCHOOOOOO!"
One gargantuan sneeze spurred on another and another. Her fit lasted an entire thirty minutes before she finally found relief.
However, in the midst of the debris settling and her sneeze-teary eyes clearing, our dear shrew had wrecked her home. Not only that, but she decimated the entire apartment complex!
"...all I wanted was to make a pie," she whimpered to herself.
Finding herself homeless once more, Abigail took up her knapsack and sat out.
Perhaps she might stumble upon somewhere hypo-allergenic?
