Author Topic: [F + Destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze*  (Read 4299 times)

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Offline crc123

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[F + Destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze*
« on: May 26, 2013, 01:22:09 AM »
Soo... Since my scanner's contrast problem is still an issue and I was thinking of trying my hand at writing I figured I post a story... I know my grammar isnt the best but please enjoy and give feedback

(start)
The fresh scent of flowers and spring wafted all over the town. Sneezing was heard regularly in this farm town, even though there weren’t many anthros who suffered from this ailment. Lucky for our Heroine, Lizzy, a young mouse woman who was on her way to the local college, while she was very happy she didn’t have allergies to pollen she was very concerned about having to do a written report on agriculture.  Liz may have not been allergic to pollen, but this incredible amount was getting even to her.
Liz sniffled slightly and wiggled the pink nose situated atop her brown furred muzzle through her thick round glasses, “C-c’mon nose… please don’t go crazy now…” she whimpered meekly. It became clear the mouse girl’s nose had other plans it seemed though, especially with arrival ofa silvery-grey furred finger
sliding under it.

“hih…”

“Hah-aaah…”

“HAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

Liz’s mouth was wide open, her shiny white incisors shining in the sunlight, “oh please not now…” she thought, feeling her insides tighten up and her chest expanding as her lungs took in great amounts of air to fuel a coming explosion.
“HAAAAAAAAAA-TSHOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Suddenly a powerful gust tore through the street before Liz the powerful wind knocking some people over and tearing up some flower beds that were near the source of this dangerous gale; A sneezing mouse girl.
Liz scrubbed her finger over her nose with sniffle and whimper, running over to help up one of the passersby she knocked over, this is why she hated sneezing so. Liz was cursed with a hurricane force sneeze that could do enough damage if tickled enough to rival a pachyderm with the most volatile of trunks. She so hated having such a pathetic nose and a dangerous sneeze… but what she hated even more was the bully who seemed to revel in her embarrassment.
Behind her she heard a cocky and semi-sinister chuckle, “Bless ya, Lizzy!”  Said a fluffy looking chinchilla boy she’d known since middle school, Sam. As all people in town knew, Chinchillas have to take dust baths to keep their fur so soft, and guess what one of Liz’s few allergies are.
“I see your nose caused a bunch of property damage again, huh?” said Sam with a big sinister grin.
“Sam, why can’t you just leave me alone?!” shouted the rodent at … well, her fellow rodent. The chinchilla closed the distance between them and ran his tail across Liz’s nose.
No sooner did that fluffy tail touch the tip of the mouse’s pink nose did she feel her sinuses assaulted by an intense burning tickle. Liz’s ears shivered and her nose shook, her nostrils flaring and her eyes tearing as she felt every little particles of dust from Chinchilla’s tail infiltrate her nose.
“P-please… st-haah….. staaaaaahhp…”, she whimpered out as her little pink nose wiggled and shook. The mouse’s nose could barely take this torture and while she thought and tried to back off, the chinchilla only closing the distance continuing her tickly assault.
“Why me?” thought Liz as she tried in vain to escape this tail while her body tensed up and she felt her chest puffing out to accommodate the massive amount of air she was inhaling. Despite how cloudy her head was getting she figured out a single way out of this…

“Haaahhh…”

The mouse took in another deep breath, “J-just gotta aim…” she thought.

“Haah… aaaahhh.. haaahh”

 The mouse’s body shook and shivered, her nostrils flaring widely…

“ah… haahah aaaaaHAAAAAAH”

Her hitching breaths were now decidedly un-mouse like roars as her lungs gathered up a windstorm in her chest. The chinchilla’s ears drooped a bit as he realized just what he may have unleashed.

HAAAAAAAAAHH…. AHAAAAAAH-TSSSHIIIIEEWWW!!!”

A hurricane tore out of the mouse’s mouth and nose, blasting the chinchilla down the black and shaking the pavement beneath Liz’s feet, the white picket fences of the neighborhood knocked off balance  and flowers from gardens ripped from their soil, “s-serves you right… and sorry everyone!” she said with a violent blush on her face as she grabbed all her book and sped off in a cloud of dust… and a knocked out chinchilla laying in the bushes in her wake.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2014, 07:01:46 AM by Furry-Sneezes »

Offline SnEeZy

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Re: [F-mouse- destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2013, 07:04:13 PM »
good to finally see mice involved for a change :) thanks for making this, i liked it a lot.

Offline oneofthree

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Re: [F-mouse- destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2013, 01:16:59 PM »
Aw, poor little mousey.  And stupid, stupid chinchilla. XD
Feel free to give me a message sometime.  I'm almost always up for a little RPing, or story ideas.
My elephant braiding her hair avatar by Moko

Offline SneezeTheWolf

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Re: [F-mouse- destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2013, 02:25:08 PM »
Nice story there, never expected destructive sneezes from a mouse  ;D what a fun idea!

Hope to see more stories from you, you're clearly a good writer.
furries and sneezing just fits together so perfectly.

Offline sneezyserpent

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Re: [F + Destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze*
« Reply #4 on: August 29, 2014, 11:44:38 PM »
I think this is a very nice story :) Cool character, and interesting idea. I like girl characters, and this one seemed to be in quite the predicament

Offline SnEeZy

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Re: [F + Destruction] An uncharacteristic sneeze*
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2015, 01:25:46 PM »
definitely wouldn't mind a sequel someday :3