« on: July 22, 2015, 03:06:23 AM »
This is from an art trade I've done with a friend on DA. He doesn't want me to specifically mention him, but I will give him credit for the story. I've also made a few edits to it. Enjoy!
It was just like any other day. The day is…uh…Tuesday. I know because that is the day stores call taco Tuesday! Woooo!!!
“Dudley! Stop making that dumb computer diary. It’s embarrassing to read, plus Keswick’s innovation to read back what you type is just plain irritating.”
“H-h-h-hey! I l-l-love that feature. Agent puppy is just appreciative of my stuff. For once.” A shorter, smart, lab-outfit-wearing animal appeared next to the tall, good looking feline. No one quite knew what Keswick actually was, but secretly, he was an alien. His large nose was bigger than Dudley’s if one compared their heights to the size of their nose, his body had a unique set of features, and it was a running gag throughout the agency to guess what he was. Still, he was the brightest mind of the whole organization and was loved by all. Well…loved most of the time. The chief wanted to help him with his speech stuttering but Keswick retained that unique thing about him too. One thing that was not unique about him, however, was what was happening to him throughout all day today.
Kitty heard the rush of air through a small breath into Keswick’s nostrils. She looked down and saw his eyes behind his glasses droop and his eyelids shutting slightly.
“Hh…haa…aa-ahh…Haa…Aa…” He tried to rub his large nose, tried to pinch his nostrils shut, but this just made his eyes water and the urge grow. A tickle had settled inside each nostril and with the nostrils pinched shut, that tickle had nowhere to escape to. The cause was pollen, something that was everywhere this morning. Spring had blossomed all throughout the city and multiple different agents were sneezing and carrying a tissue as they walked. One agent that everyone kept an eye on was the tall elephant girl agent that had sneezed only a few times today despite her large trunk tickling nonstop. Whenever she had a first tiny hitching breath, nearby agents pushed the elephant towards an open window so her loud, booming sneeze wouldn’t get unleashed inside the building.
Unfortunately for Keswick he never had this kind of luxury. His sneezes were strong, but they weren’t dangerous by any means. He was normal in this way. He just wished his nose wouldn’t be so sensitive!
The tickle within his nose didn’t go away, and the surface of his large nose wavered and shook as the tickle spread inside both nostrils. His nose shook so much the pinch couldn’t cover his nostrils all the way since they slid from his fingers. A tiny amount of air leaked into his right nostril, resulting in a “HeAAA…AA-Ahhh…”
“Keswick’s gonna blow!” Dudley dived for cover, remembering the time when Keswick was sick and had really messy sneezes that cave Dudley a cold to help defeat the stinkbug. Keswick’s sneezes weren’t usually that messy, and Kitty rolled her eyes but took a step back away from the sneezy alien scientist.
“AAAA…AHH…*ACHOO!!!!!*” The loud forceful sneeze made his small body jump a few inches into the air, his nose leading the charge upwards. His glasses flew off his face and landed on the floor, but they actually bounced off the floor. Kitty snatched the glasses with her catlike reflexes and put them back on his face before the sneezy feeling left him. "Gesundheit." Dudley noticed the small genius' glasses fall off before Kitty put them back on his face. His eyes were still tightly shut a few seconds after the release.
“Holy cow! I hope my glasses didn’t b-b-bounce away too far. I invented them to be breakproof! I was tired of breaking these things. Do you have any idea how h-h-high the prices are for glasses these days? It’s terribly…hi…hihh…aaa…aaaahh…*ACHOO!* HAA…*ACHOO!* *ACHOO!!!!*”
Dudley and Kitty cast a look at each other, smiling slyly. Seeing Keswick like this when usually it was he that wanted control so often really was kind of cute. Plus a scientist being allergic to nature’s gift called pollen? It seemed like there was just one more reason why he usually avoided flowers.
An alarm sounded and the chief, along with his camera, burst into the room. “I’ll tell you what’s terrible. Keswick, cover your nose when you sneeze. It’s just not right to sneeze uncovered like that. Anyway, that’s not what’s terrible. Snaptrap has broken into the building and stolen all our weapons on the first floor! Apparently the front guards all are allergic to pollen. I wish the nurse told me that, firsthand Agent Foxy.”
A fox lady with a long red tail blushed, rubbing her own pinkish tinted nose. “Sorry chief. I wasn’t expecting pollen to…to…*ACHOO!*” Her own sneeze was surprisingly big for a cute fox lady, but she composed herself really quickly after the sneeze. “Excuse me. The guards all were sneezing or trying not to sneeze so often that rat really took advantage. No one could stop him once he grabbed weapons and fired at all the guards. Someone needs to go down there and stop him!”
“I couldn’t agree more Agent Foxy. Dudley! Kitty! Stay here and guard this floor. I expect him to be looking for you. Keswick, come with me.”
“H-h-who? Me? Chief that’s not a ….a good…*ACHOO!* Idea. The pollen levels down there must be off the charts c-cuh-compared to up here!"
Things were stupidly quiet for the next few minutes as the building’s chaos was starting to calm down. There were so many stairs in between floors it was taking awhile to actually reach the first floor, especially with the scientist himself, Keswick, leading the way. Meanwhile, The big rat himself was dying of boredom.
“This is so bogus. Why do we even have time to relax?” Snaptrap snapped at Larry. He pushed a button and Larry fell into a hole filled with snakes. As his henchman screamed in pain and yelped out “why does TUFF have these things too? It doesn’t make any sense! YEAA HAA AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Owwww…..”
“Boss, I believe that they’re coming from the stairs.” A nasally, tall henchmen with an English accent pointed out. Snaptrap slammed open the stair door. “FREEZE TUFF! We know you’re up there agent puppy! Heeeeyyy…why’s there no crazy sound effects already? He usually screws up my plans by now. Huh, guess he’s having an off day.”
Yellow spores from the first floor flooded the stairway thanks to Snaptrap’s rash decision making and Keswick’s eyes started to water and his large nose twitched, his dark nostrils revealing themselves in flaring glory.
“I hee…heaa…t-t-tohhh…told ya-aa-ya Ch-Ch-Chief…the p-poll…hh…hhheaa…aa…pollen*TCCHOO!* *H’TCCCHOO!*” Two enormous sneezes sprayed out of control from the poor agent, even knocking him backwards and he sniffled in a pitiful wet way trying to recover from his loud outbursts.
Snaptrap and his henchmen practically danced up the stairs as Keswick rubbed his twitchy, itchy nose. “Well well well. If it isn’t the crazy smart guy! Phelsmich!” Snaptrap rolled his eyes in his trademark loony way. “It's k-kuh-Keswi-*AH-CH!*” Keswick rubbed his nose again as Snaptrap laughed in response. “A baby a street block away could’ve heard those monster sneezes. Ya gotta take some allergy pills or something. Those sneezes are dangerous! Here, have a gift from me to you.”
“W-w-w…what?” This wasn’t an allergic hitch, this was Keswick’s trademark stuttering vocab sound. He was stunned and very suspicious. “If it’s a gift from you I really don’t want it.”
“Gee, too bad. It’s antihistamines. It goes great with my allergy but ah well. Woops!” Snaptrap tossed the needle and medicine down the flight of stairs and it smashed into the hard floor below. Keswick cried out an anguished “NO!!” and growled while Snaptrap joyously twirled like a ballerina and tossed grass blades and daisy flowers in the air around Keswick. Petals landed on the already ticklish nose of the mathematician and he shivered as his nose twitched violently with a powerful sniffle. “Hhh…HHhhh…HHeeeaa…aaa…*aaaahTCHOO!* *HEAAACHOO!* *H’PTSSHOO!*” He tried to cover his own nose with the last sneeze but his hands were doused in yellow pollen and a single blade of grass had landed on his left hand, making that blade of grass go up his already sneezy muzzle as he tried to cover it.
Keswick’s entire body now was all focused on one thing and one thing only: sneezing. He was thrown back with the force of these sneezes. “*ACHOO!* *HEAAASHOO!* *H’KCHOO!!*”
Snaptrap laughed again while he and his minions avoided the small body of Keswick. Keswick then sneezed on Snaptrap with a sudden "*AAACHOO!*", and the rat flew covered in alien snot. The chief himself was hanging onto Keswick’s shirt for dear life as he had been sneezed off of the computer stand he usually was on. "Gross.." Snaptrap said before grabbing a weapon. "That's a weird way to say gesundheit.." Keswick sassed before sniffling adorably.
“Surrender TUFF! We’ll win and take over your precious building by your own weapons! He ha ha ha haaa!” Snaptrap started firing his weapon randomly, making Kitty and Dudley unable to properly counter because of the unpredictability of the shots. As the minions supported Snaptrap so did other agents on the second floor.
“Chief! Snaptrap’s more powerful than ever!” Kitty loudly proclaimed, knowing that Keswick and the Chief were still in the stairway. Keswick’s sneezes were proof of that.
“Ch-*ChiiEEFTSOO!* Chief! We gottaaa…aaa…*ATCHOO!* d-duh-do something! My n-n-nose fee…feelllss…like it’s on f-fiiii…fii…fi…firee*ESSHOO!!*” That last sneeze made Keswick lose his balance and he smacked his face on the stairs, shaking off the leftover pollen from the dirty trick Snaptrap used on him.
“Smart thinking as usual, Keswick!” The chief proudly stated, although Keswick’s breathing was hitching so badly the chief jumped onto the scientist's large nose and startled him out of sneezing again. The chief even used his entire tiny body to spread out and try to scratch the shivers his itchy nose was doing. This scratching actually helped out a little. Keswick’s breathing returned to normal, although pollen spores still tickled his nostrils with the mere scent of them.
“I wish my a-a-a-allergy wasn’t so severe.” Keswick stammered in his usual way. “Hey! Th-Th-That’s it! I know what to do!” Keswick whispers to the chief on his large nose the plan and the Chief jumps off.
“Brilliant idea! I’ll sneak past the fools and let Agent Katswell know. Agent Puppy, too.”
“Go Chiee…eeef…” without the Chief’s scratching motions Keswick’s nose actively came alive, urging the rest of the body to continue its allergic releases.
“*HEETCHOO!* *HACHOO!* *M’TCHOO!* H-*HurrYSHOO!* Hurry Chief! I don’t know how much longer my no…hoo…nose ca…caaan…last…*aaaaACHOO!* *HATSSHOO!*”
Keswick heard a roar of a sneeze from a lion agent on the first floor, and he even felt the walls shake at the sneeze of the elephant agent. Poor guys…at least he knew he wasn’t the only one suffering from allergies. Still, this needed to be solved soon or TUFF would be overpowered by sneezes and a crazy rat!
The Chief made it through the blasts and came to Kitty’s head. All the supporting agents were already hit and wounded. Most of Snaptrap’s henchmen, Larry not included, were also hit and wounded. The Chief whispered the same plan Keswick did and Kitty beamed up like a lighthouse. She told Dudley to follow her lead.
“Oh no! Snaptrap’s gonna take over the whole building!” Kitty exclaimed. “Time bring out the flashbaker!” Dudley smiled cleverly. Snaptrap froze and his eyes grew huge. “I actually won? WOOO! Ah yeah!” Dudley was dumfounded and shocked but Kitty flashed a small slice of cheese and even the dumb canine knew that cheese was the best weapon against Snaptrap. He used allergies to get into TUFF, and his own allergy was going to get him OUT!
In less than 10 seconds with the help of Keswick’s insta-cook ray, a giant pastry with gleaming frosting sat in the second floor. Snaptrap slammed headfirst into the pastry, saying it was totally delicious. “What’s in this thing anyway? I’m gonna eat the whole thing!”
“Uh…boss…that’s cheese ya know.” The tall English-accented henchman face palmed himself as Snaptrap whispered, “oh snap.” He then yelled out as he puffed up like a balloon and dropped his stolen weapons. The remaining minions tried to run away down the stairs but Keswick was still there, and he was still sneezy and sneezing up a fit. "*AHCHOO!* *aaAACH!* *EHSCHOO!* *AHXSCH!*" With each sneeze, he fell back onto the minions causing them to lose their balance to tumble down the rest of the stairs. The sneezy agents on the first floor captured them. Keswick finally felt relief since the running minions caused the pollen in the air to travel on them instead of hanging around Keswick. The small scientist ran back to the second floor and did the honors of handcuffing Snaptrap, although immediately after he regretted it since Snaptrap had pollen all over him from the flowers and grass he had held earlier.
“H…HH…*HAATCHOO!* *ACHOO!* *H’TSHOO!*”
“D'aww.. Keswick’s sneezes are adorable! He falls forward and backwards with each one.” Kitty whispered to Dudley.
“Good point. I’d hate to have a fit like that. Reminds me of when he was sick and in a ball. He really went forward and backwards with those strong sneezes! It was cute.”
“Knock it off you too…but you’re absolutely right.” Chief whispered. Keswick, even with his sneezing fit, turned his head blushing deeply.
“Ya know I can hear just f…fi…*ACHOO!* just f-fuh-fine right? My nose is not working but my ea…aa…*eaaCHOOO!!* My ears are fi-*EHXCHOO!*” He weakly sniffled but smiled at the same time. "Bless you." Kitty gave him a pat on the head. He was glad to be a part of TUFF.
As a celebration the entire building was cleaned and all pollen was no longer in the facility. Keswick touched his friends' hearts as he was allowed to give a report of his appreciation to his hearts' content and talk about all his inventions at long last.
After all those hours Keswick left and headed for his home, relieved that finally he could fall asleep and get ready for…for…uh oh…he was outside and outside meant…
“Ha…haaaa…*HAAATCHOO!*” Pollen. When he reached his house he shut the door and invented the pollen destroyer he talked about in his celebration earlier and used his new ray to blast his entire house, clearing out pollen quickly and efficiently. Now there was nothing to have him sneeze…but he knew that with allergies and a large nose, sneezes would undoubtedly happen sooner rather than later.