Author Topic: [M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold  (Read 2166 times)

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Offline pollenpepperlover

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[M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold
« on: January 15, 2015, 12:14:05 AM »
This was originally a story I wrote about a MLP character, but I altered it to make it appropriate for this cite. Enjoy!  ;D (PS this is my first story, so please don't be too rough, I'm still learning. ;) )

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
 
        “Ugh.”
 
        Alex rolled over in his bed and groggily slammed the alarm. He took his hoof to move his messy mane from his eyes. Normally he woke up before his clock had the chance to wake him up, and the blaring noise was not a pleasant way to wake up in his book. A dull itch had begun to work it's way into the back of his snout. He decided to ignore it. He sprawled back onto his back. He really didn’t want to get up. He’d been feeling weak for the past few days, yesterday feeling particularly gross, but refused to acknowledge he was sick. He leaned over to grab a glass of water and took a quick gulp. The water burned as it slid down his throat. Damn. At least it was Sunday.
       
        Rubbing his eyes, Alex rolled out of bed and sat on the side, stretching his forelegs. The sudden stretching of his chest caused him to produce a short fit of wet coughs. Mucus began to drip from his nose. He placed his hoof to his nose and rubbed, attempting to wipe the annoying goo away, but all he had done was smear it around.
 
        He begrudgingly grabbed a tissue and scrubbed at his wet nostrils, his hoof not having done a satisfactory job. Suddenly, his nostrils began to twitch and flare. Alex hated sneezing, because they always came in large quantities, meaning if he sneezed once he’d be sneezing for a while. This made things especially messy when he was sick. Because of the constant mucus flow in the depths of his sensitive snout, Alex nose was extremely itchy. He needed to sneeze.
 
        “Heeh…ghh…hah…” The sick horse once again scrubbed angrily at his nostrils. They were beginning to turn a rosy pink. Gross. Alec sniffed, attempting to clear his nose and rid himself of the maddening tickle. Big mistake. Alex's nostrils flared and his breath began to hitch. He had to sneeze. Just once. No. If he sneezed once he wouldn’t be able to stop. He couldn’t sneeze. Not while he was this sick. But his nose was so itchy… His tissue slipped off of his hoof in his mid-sneeze daze.
       
        “Hahhh…HAH…guhh…Hahx-chuh! Haahh….Nxxx-Choo..” Alex stifled into his hooves. Right then he knew stifling wouldn’t do. Those were the most unsatisfactory sneezes he had ever sneezed. His snout was just as tickly and runny as before.
       
        “HaH-CHOOoo! Ahhhah… hahCHUH!” Alex sneezed once again into his tissue. His nose dripped and ran from the bursts of air. He grabbed another tissue and blew his nose wetly into it. The tissue quickly became soaked. Grabbing another, Alex wiped the inside of his ever-reddening nostrils to try to quell the never-ending tickliness in his wet, sensitive snout. Alex never really paid attention to the kind of tissues he bought, because he never really uses them. Little did he realize he had absentmindedly previously purchased the cheap, rough brand. The scratchy paper instantly made the itch in his nostrils go from a 5 to a solid 11.
 
        His nostrils flared as large as they could go; You could have looked into his snout to see his wet, tickly nasal passages twitching and spasming from the constant trigger.
       
        “EHG-SHUHHH!…HUPCHUHHH!..heh! XXXxxt-CHOO!” Alex sneezed wetly into the rough tissue. His dripping, twitching nostrils were incredibly red at this point. He let the sandpaper-like tissue drop off his hoof as he raised it up to his twitching snout, rubbing roughly. There was no way he could hold back these ones. Not after that itchy, scratchy tissue irritating his red nasal passages. Alex instantly dove into another fit of sneezes.
       
        “ECHHHHUUHH!… EXCHOOOOooooo…! Haahhahaah… hahhh. HAH! SHOOOOOOO! HAH! ACHHH-HOOOOOOOOOOO! The poor, sick equine sneezed harshly into his hooves. Oops, again bad idea. As he brought his hooves away from his snout, long strands of snot connected stubbornly onto them. Alex rushed to his sink, stifling a few sneezes on the way into his already soaked hooves. After washing his hooves, splashing water on his face, and taking a dose of cold meds, Alex flopped back into bed. Maybe he didn’t have to start the day just yet.

<3<3<3

Offline SnEeZy

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Re: [M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2015, 06:05:43 AM »
not bad at all! :) i think it's very well-written for your first story! :3 the harsh sneezes at the end were delightful x3

Offline SoulSong22

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Re: [M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2015, 10:23:41 PM »
D'awww. Poor Alex  ;D

Offline Retrofan191

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Re: [M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2015, 12:15:45 AM »
I loved it. really looking forward to more from you. and I really love the way you spell sneezes!

Offline tarotgal

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Re: [M, Messy, Horse] Alex's Cold
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2016, 06:24:07 AM »
Awwwww. Poor baby! Great to see such a well-described cold story on here. Nice work!