Author Topic: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm  (Read 3665 times)

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Offline finchspark

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[N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« on: March 22, 2015, 08:40:50 PM »
here's what this character looks like, btw: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13575326/ this is my first attempt at sneeze-related writing. Hope you enjoy!

At VirtuComp laboratories, where the Comp stands for both Computer and Companion, the programmers and researchers strive to meet their product's promise - to provide the experience of the most real friend imaginable. They received some interesting feedback about their CUDL-3 model recently. One user was pleased with all of their friend's sensory input functions, except one - the nose. Now, sensory complexity is the CUDL-3's trademark; what it lacks in computational power and technical skill, it makes up for in sensitivity to touch, smell, and taste, visual understanding, and emotional responsiveness. The CUDL-3 is one of their smallest models at only 3 and a half feet tall, with soft, silvery fur, large, expressive green eyes, triangular foxlike ears, and a pair of demure yet sensitive nostrils on the end of its petite muzzle. Truly, the CUDL-3, whom they nickname Cuddlebot around the lab, is a tender, perceptive little bot, created to be loving and aesthetically pleasing.

So when one avid fan of the Cuddlebot came to them with a sensory challenge, they were eager to write up the code for it and test it out. This user really wanted his bot to react to nose stimuli that might cause a sneeze. When the sneezing app was ready, they had their tester cuddlebot download it and hurried him off to the lab to test it out.

The first test was to run the sneeze algorithm manually. After booting up the tester, one of the programmers plugged it into the manual override laptop, selected the sneeze from the list of stimulus reactions, and pressed "go". The sweet, obedient little bot was seized suddenly by a tiny sneeze. With no outside stimulus, there was no buildup; the tester blinked hard and jerked forward, its thick tail stiffening momentarily, as a tiny expulsion of air burst through its nostrils. The tester, a very self aware little friend who was familiar with all of the researchers and used to the testing process, felt a suddenly wave of pleasure. Unsure of whether this was what a sneeze was supposed to be, and not wanting to disappoint the researchers, the bot kept quiet about this feeling, merely blushing slightly - an green light just below the robot's skin beneath each eye flicked on as the bot's pleasure levels rose.

"Check out its cheeks, Rob," one of the researchers commented. "That's nifty." He then adjust a slider onscreen pressed the "go" button three more times in quick succession, testing the bot's limits.

The bot was immediately seized by three more all in a row - this time, much, much harder, hard enough that the bot had to open its mouth to let out the bursts of air. "Choo! Choo! CHOO!" After the third pleasurable jerk, the cuddlebot felt floaty and light headed. It rubbed its muzzle tenderly, eyelids aflutter and cheeks aglow with pleasure. What on earth did biological creatures need this for??

Rob clicked through a few screens on the computer, reaching a page which displayed a chart of the sensations the bot was experiencing. "Oh my god," he murmured. "This bot's pleasure levels are through the roof. Angela, what did you do??" He turned to a female programmer by his side who was observing the process. She smirked, pleased that she had impressed and surprised her colleague.

"You know that orgasm algorithm we started a while ago and scrapped?" she purred, raising a sly eyebrow.  "I built this reaction off of that." She smiled. "They're very similar bodily functions, really. I guess I should have adjusted the pleasure response a little but... Don't you think this is more fun?" She demurely offered Rob a feather. "Here, test it out with this."

Rob took the feather quickly, a little flustered but trying to keep his cool, and then took the cuddlebot's chin in his hand. "Hold still," he ordered it, and the robot nervously complied as the man brushed the tip of the feather delicately against the tester's nostrils. The bot's eyelids lowered and thought functions stuttered to a stop as the feather traced the edges of one nostril, and tantalizingly, was just barely inserted. The bot's mouth opened and it sharply took in some air in a shaky gasp, followed by another, and another... "Quite a buildup, little guy," Rob said, loosening his hold on the bot's chin to allow it to release. He slipped the feather into the other nostril now, tenderly stroking the top of its muzzle with his other hand. "Let it out..."

The robot's faltering thought functions struggled with this new order. It searched the newly downloaded database desperately but found nothing about having the ability to sneeze voluntarily! The stress of being unable to follow the order made the "pleasure" bar on the screen plummet. The buildup ended, to the blushing bot's dismay. It couldn't. Its ears lowered in a surge of frustration and shame.

Angela, meanwhile, beamed. "Pretty clever, huh? Just like a person, if you try to force it to sneeze, or make it think to hard while in the midst of a buildup, the program ends. Here, let me try." Angela pulled a pepper shaker out of her pocket and silently sprinkled some directly onto the robot's muzzle. She immediately stepped back and let the program run its course. The petite snout wiggled, and the expressive eyes even watered slightly as the the buildup began. The bot gasped and lurched three times, its tail thrashing, before finally letting loose a violent "Ah -TSCHOO!!" followed immediately by a long, high, distinctly electronic but immediately understandable moan. The bot slapped a paw over its own mouth, eyes widening in confusion and embarrassment. It was the researchers' turn to blush. "Yeah, interesting," Rob commented, jutting down some notes and averting his eyes from his colleague's. "Um, Angela... maybe you should modify this for home use, and release this particular iteration of the sneeze app as a...specialty package?"

Offline BurningKhaos55

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2015, 09:02:01 PM »
Oh gosh, that was a cute little story. Made me all fuzzy n' warm inside. Nice job!

Offline Spinyofdoom

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2015, 10:41:10 PM »
Oooh, wow, this was lovely. If you ever decide to continue this, I'd be very happy!

Offline Retrofan191

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2015, 08:34:00 AM »
I liked this alot! Would love to read more from you!

Offline HyperSneeze

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2018, 10:01:10 AM »
Aww, adorable tiny sneezy robot~
Where can I order one?
With the speciality package, of course~
"To sneeze, or not to sneeze... that is not the question, but the demand. Now... sniff this whole pepper shaker, if you please."

Offline UltimateChimera

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2018, 06:28:47 AM »
...Out of not understanding, how does 'forcing somebody to sneeze' cause them to not sneeze? xP
Coochie coo, you'll sneeze soon~

Offline CC007

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2018, 09:51:46 AM »
...Out of not understanding, how does 'forcing somebody to sneeze' cause them to not sneeze? xP

I think it's more like if they want to sneeze voluntarily or on purpose, then it just won't happen. Have you ever felt like you keep hitching your breath from an itch in your nose but a sneeze just doesn't come out? It's something like that.
I try to do my best, even if I'm not the best.

Offline UltimateChimera

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Re: [N + Robot] The Sneezing Algorithm
« Reply #7 on: December 16, 2018, 05:38:42 AM »
I suppose. In my head though, if a direct tickling is happening, and still happening, a sneeze should probably follow no matter what. But maybe I just don't have that sort of experience xP
Coochie coo, you'll sneeze soon~