This was a commission for a macro Big Bad Wolf character with a cold having a pretty bad day. Part 1 of 3.
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The german shepherd moaned low in his throat as he awakened, some disturbance in the room making
him crack open his eyes, squinting against the morning sun that would doubtless be streaming in – but
no, it was dark... what? Kevin pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them as
he blinked in the somewhat shadowed room, before suddenly finding the source of the darkness.
“Hiiii, Kev!” a loud, low, whispered voice greeted his ears, emanating from the giant muzzle that was
stuffed through his wide windows. A wet black nose with wide, slightly-running nostrils scrunched and
sniffled, sounding thick and rumbling.
This nose was attached to an enormous wolf, his feet far below on the ground while his face was now
jammed up into the apartment's window, the only way the macro felt like he could 'visit' with his friend.
“Morning, Rej. Haven't we talked about not dropping by unexpected while I'm sleeping? I'm pretty
sure we have...” With a sigh, the shepherd tossed the sheets off, paws hitting the carpeted floor as he
reluctantly stood up, feeling the warm breath from the wolf wash over him, ruffling his fur and rippling
across his bedsheets. “I mean, at least let me get dressed.” He started to do so quickly, pulling on
some pants and buttoning up any old shirt.
“But I wanted to come see you! I think I'm gonna have to leave town soon, so... I didn't want to just go
without any goodbyes!” Reggie snuffled again, the brown-and-darker-brown canine frowning as a drip
hit the floor.
“Uh... why is that, Rej?” his ears were perked up now, alert. Something seemed wrong with this
situation. His eyes widened with horror as the giant answered.
“Um, I think I might be catching a cold. The smog and smoke from that new factory have really been
irritating my nose, and I was just gonna leave before I start sneezing. You know what h-happens when
I sneeze.” There was the tiniest hitch in his speech, a sign that Kevin was tragically familiar with.
“Well what the heck are you waiting for?! You could have just called – doesn't that one company make
phones your size now?” Rushing over to the big nose that was representing his friend, he began
pushing on it, as though that could make it vacate his home more swiftly. “If you think you're getting
sick, you don't come into your friend's house and breathe all over him! Get this big honker out of my
room before you sneeze!” His hands sank into the pliant flesh, nostrils as large as the dog flaring and
huffing over him.
“Aw, don't be like that! I can feel a sneeze coming a mile away! Ah... that feels nice, thanks...” The
pressure was assuaging an itch that the big wolf hadn't even felt, but he understood the caution. Just
one of his sneezes would probably blast this building apart, thankfully he'd always had a long, long
build-up, and he hadn't been surprised by a sneeze since he was much younger. “All right, just wanted
to let you know! I'll see you in a week or so!” With that cheerful goodbye, the wolf felt the nares of his
nose twitch and flare, perhaps responding to the nice nose rubs (Actually insistent pushing) he was
getting, and started to pull himself out. At least, that was the plan.
“Mm... Uh... Hmmmm...” He pulled a little harder, and felt the building start to move, stopping
immediately. “Uh...”
“What's the holdup? Get out of here, you're getting germs all over my room!” Kev cried, standing back
from the wiggling nose as he felt the floor give the tiniest rumble.
“I'm stuck.” Came the response. A pregnant pause followed as the shepherd stared at the gargantuan
nose that was acting as a stand-in for his friend's face.
“Well, okay. Um... I'll get some butter or some olive oil, maybe, and there's no rush since you don't
have to-”
“H-haah...” The big wolf gave a gasp, what was visible of his muzzle scrunching up as his enormous
schnozz flared, a breeze drifting through the room as he inhaled.
“Don't you dare,” Said the smaller canine, with a slight look of fear.
“I thi—thi-- hiiihnk I feel a s-s-sneeze...” Came the wavering voice of the giant wolf, his eyes tearing
up outside as his cold-ravaged snout gave a mighty itch, tingling up between his eyes, begging for a
great big blast of a sneeze to blow it all free and clear, get all those irritants out with a single explosion.
“Hh-HA—Hh—hheh... t-t-tickl...s...!” Once again he tried to remove his snout from the room, but it
was stuck tight. Perhaps because of his illness, his nose was swollen? Or maybe it was the wide, flared
dark nostrils, revealing running pink interiors, sensitive and inflamed.
The room shook and the building trembled as the wolf lightly gripped it, trying not to move too much
as the sneeze overtook him. His friend Kevin meanwhile was up against the wolf's nose, trying to rub
it, stroke his nostrils, press both hands to his septum, anything he could think of to keep the wolf from
sneezing. He even tried pressing his right arm across what little he could reach of those gaping holes,
trying to apply enough pressure to suppress Reggie's urge to sneeze.
“H-hhhae... aeeh... hh—hnn---nn...!” It seemed to work for a moment, at least.
“Don't... sneeze. Do not sneeze. You had better not sneeze and spray your germs all over my entire apartment, not to
mention probably blowing my wall down!” He was trying to help, to perhaps be stern and aid the wolf
in suppressing his nasal urges, but honestly hearing the word 'sneeze' over and over just pushed him
over the edge. The huge wolf couldn't help it. He just had to sneeze, no matter the consequences.
“Igah... Gahh—can't... Ibuhgunna... HH... HAAA... HAAAAEETTTSCHHHHH!” His muzzle
scrunched, twitched, and his nostrils spread wide as he unleashed an enormous sneeze, the walls
cracking and the bed, along with mostly anything in the room, being blown about by the hot gale of
wind that rocketed through the room. Kev clung to that sneezy snout for dear life, trying not to think
about the fact that the wolf was sick as he got sneezed on. Luckily there wasn't any spray.
“B-bless you... ok... that wasn't so bad! I'm still here, building's still stand-”
“HHHAAAAH....!” But the wolf wasn't done. His nose itched so bad! That first sneeze just made it
worse, somehow... it was like a dam broke inside of him, and all he could do was desperately gasp in
another huge breath, his chest puffing up as it pressed against the side of the building outside, his eyes
shutting tightly as his muzzle wrinkled and nose flared out once again.
“HAAAHTTTTCHHHHHHHHHHHEEEOOOO! … Gnnuhh...” Snuffling, the now-wet nose snuffled
and shifted before Kevin, flexing and wriggling.
“Y-you good?” Miraculously, the building was still ok. This was fine. He could go get the olive oil,
they'd lube up this silly wolf's snoot and slide him on out of here.
“Kebvh...” Ugh, he sounded so stuffy. And apologetic... worried? Resigned? What was that tone in his
voice? “I'b so-sorry... b-bud I … I ha... hafta... I hafta sneeze!”
“No, nonono, don't … just... come on, pull it out!” But he was already gone, huffing and puffing, regret
and desperation, futile determination to hold his sneezes in coloring his gasps.
“Haaah... HhAaAAaaa... HAA-” the wolf's maw opened, his whole body trembling as he felt the
sneeze come up through his feet, flinging himself forward, cracking the entire window frame along
with the wall as he was totally unable to stop his body's response. The cold-stricken wolf sneezed a
misty plume of a sneeze that shone in the sun and dusted everything in the shepherd's room, along with
breaking most of the building's windows, and perhaps tilting it a bit to the side.
“HAAATTEEESCCCHHHHHHHHHHSHHHHHHHSHHHHHHHH!” It was a wet monster of a sneeze, leaving the gargantuan canine feeling quite dazed afterwards, the force of the gale blowing Kev back into his closet, thankfully padding him with heaps of now disheveled clothing as the walls broke down in places, leading into the hallway. His bed was flat up against the wall, the air pressure blowing
out all the doors and sending rugs, furniture, anything not nailed down flying. Afterwards, the wolf was left panting, small runners of slime dangling from his wide, reddened nostrils, able to pull his sneezy snoot out of the rubble as he pawed at it desperately, a wet squelching sound permeating the air as he scrubbed at his itchy nose.
“Nnn... I'm s-so sorry... are you ok?” He put an eye up to the hole he'd made, ears folded back and tail
drooping as he peered inside, his eye filling the cracked ruin that had once been a window leading to a
nice balcony. Seeing that Kevin was fine, if a bit damp and quite annoyed, he cheered up … slightly.
“Will you get out of here!? Jesus! You sneezed all over me and now my home is wrecked! You need to
go before you sneeze again, Rej! Just... just come talk to me once you're better! Honestly... you'd think
you'd know better by now! How did you even get sick anyway?” The shepherd vented his frustrations
on his careless friend a bit before sighing and putting both hands on his face.
“I'm going to go take a shower, if the pipes still work. And I guess see if I can switch apartments. You
need to get clear, all right? Thanks for coming to say goodbye... I guess. No, I mean... it's not your
fault. I'm just upset. This is why we have insurance, right? Accidents happen...” It seemed like he was
more talking to himself at this point, perhaps questioning why he had to go and get himself such an
airheaded friend who happened to be a giant, capable of doubtlessly inflicting his cold upon him with
that last sneeze, as well as wrecking up the place...
“I... I -snrk- think it was all the smog. But you're right... my nose is so -snffff- itchy, I should go...
ugh... drippy.”
“At least take my sheets to use as a handkerchief. I mean, you already sneezed all over everything, you
might as well take it too.”
Smiling faintly, the wolf's huge hand carefully reached in and pulled the sheets off, rubbing them
against his nose with a look of intense relief. “Thanks... I'll see you. Sorry again about-”
“I know you're sorry, just go! You can make it up to me later, but right now, seriously, you have to go.
You know how the city feels about macros sneezing recklessly! Get outta here quick buddy.” After all,
he wasn't the only one living in this building... already people were getting out of bed to investigate the
sudden, strange 'earthquake' that had shaken the building, finding their windows broken... it wouldn't
do for them to hear Rej sneeze right after that. People might make connections, or throw around some
hurtful terms, like 'big bad wolf'. He wasn't bad, just a little...unfocused, perhaps, on how big he was.
Accidents happen.
With his nose firmly wrapped in the bedsheet, just barely covering the massive honker, Reggie began
his careful exodus from the city, stepping lightly as he decided to head out to the coast first, then cut
out through the industrial fields and off into the wilderness where he could sneeze to his heart's content.
Or his nose's, as the case may be. Being alone and sick in the woods sucked, but it didn't suck as much
as wrecking all your friends' homes every time your nose got a big tickle in it.
Now he just had to get clear of the city without sneezing again. A prospect that was already looking
somewhat grim, as after just a few steps, Kev could hear the big wolf gasp as he strode away, clutching
his gigantic nose in his palm.
