“Haaaa….AAAEEESSSHHHOOOO!... AaaIIISSHHOOGH!... Aaaahhhh…. aaaaaaaIIIISSHHHHagh!... HeeeYYIIISSSHHHagh!”
“Oooohhh, bless you, honey!” Sally, an elegant red-furred cat lady, went up to her sneezing lover, Sam, a black wolf, who stood motionlessly by the closet in their bedroom, gasping with closed eyes as the allergic tickle was making his large nose twitch and turn red. “It’s the Millers mowing their lawn again, hmmm?” Picking up a handful of tissues, she stepped closer to him.
Nodding, he tried to say something: “The graahhh… haahhIIISSHHOOH!... HeeYYYIIISSHH!... HaaaaAAASSSHHOOH!“ The sneezes burst out of his widely flaring nostrils, right into the handful of tissues Sally hurriedly held to his nose.
“Bless you.” Gently, she dabbed the tissues to his quivering nostrils. His big sneezy nose made him even more attractive to her – and he was a rather dashing man to begin with. Tall, athletic, shimmering jet-black fur, piercing blue eyes… and a large black nose she could never take her eyes off.
“Thangks, honey,” he sniffled. Then his sizable nostrils flared up again. “Ihhh… I’m gonna sneeze agaihhhh… hehhh… EEEEHHIIISSHHHagh!... IIIIIIEEEEESSSHH!!... IEEEESSSHHHUUU! *sniffle* Aghhh, the grass…heehhhhEEESSSHHHagh!... HHIIISSSHHHHagh!” He wiggled his itchy nose, trying to talk more. “And the smell… that tickly smell… makes my nosehhh…hehhAAASSSHOOO!... HuhhAAASSSHOOH!“
She gently pressed the tissue wad to his nostrils. “It makes your nose explode… I know, honey!” she purred.
“AaaIIISSHHOOGH!... HaaaaIIISSHHHOOO!... HaaaaEEEESSSHHah!” he sneezed forcefully into her tissues.
“Bless you! – Poor honey… your allergies are so much worse when our neighbours are mowing their lawns…”
“Yeah… But…heeeeEESSHHHagh!... I’b afraid there’s nothigg we can do about it *sniff*.”
A loud buzzing sound from outside startled them both. When they checked by looking out of the window, they saw that not only the Millers, but almost everybody in their neighbourhood had started mowing their lawns – as if they had arranged it!
“Oh no… my nosehhh…” Sam groaned, then sneezed heavily four times in a row.
“Bless you!” Sally wiped his sniffly nose, then offered him to blow, which he gratefully did. Then, her eyes fell on the calender on the wall next to their bed. “Oh! Today is Friday the thirteenth…”
He groaned again. “I bight have guessed *sniff*”
Comfortingly, she pulled him closer, kissing him on his lips and then on his sensitive canine nose which made it scrunch up immediately. “Ah, that tickles…”
She couldn’t help herself – she had to kiss his itchy twitchy nose again…
“HuuuAAAASSSHHHOOO!... HaaaaEEESSHHHOOO!” he sneezed forcefully.
“Ah, sorry, honey!” she said, blushing with contrition.
“It’s okay,” he sniffled. “I like it when you kiss mby ndose, eved if it makes me snee… sneezehh…EEEERRRSSHHaggh!”
“Bless you, my love…Come on, let’s sit down a bit…” She wished they could just go straight back to bed, but they both had to work today… Still, they had one more hour until they had to leave the house. They both worked in the same company, where they had met and fallen in love one year ago.
Her hand never left his nose as they settled on the small sofa in their bedroom. Another violent sneeze burst into the tissues she was holding.
“Bless you. Let me get some fresh tissues!”
“Hyyehhh--hheehhIIISSHH!!” he sneezed into his hand. “Ughh, I can’t stohhh… HeeeeehhIIISSSHHahh!... EEHHHHIISSHHHHagh!!... HeeeeeIIIISSSHHagh!... EeeeAASSHHH!”
“Ooohhh…” She was back by his side, wiping his sniffly black nose with the fresh tissues, and then, when she saw his face contort as the next sneeze was ready to burst forth, she quickly placed her finger under his nose, pressing up against his huge, flaring nostrils.
“Hyyiiighh!” he sharply exhaled instead of sneezing. “Aghh… thank you, darling.” He scrunched up his nose against her finger.
“It’s still tickling, hmmm?” she asked softly, running her finger across his wide, sensitive nostrils that didn’t stop quivering.
He nodded, sniffling lightly. His nostrils, inside and outside, were red from the itchy irritation. Sally massaged them with skilful, rhythmic movements.
“Eghhh…” A trace of relief spread on his face, although his nose was still tense and twitchy.
At that moment, Sally’s phone rang. “Hello?... Oh, Mr. Furryweather, good morning!... A water main break?... The whole building is under water?? Is everybody all right?... Oh, thank God nobody’s hurt. Yes, I see. Thank you. See you tomorrow! Bye!”
After ending the conversation, she looked at Sam who was blowing his nose. “It looks like we’re both off work today!”
A smile spread on his sneezy face. “Friday the thirteenth, huh?... Apparently it’s… hiiYYYEESSHHagh!... bad for some people, but definitely hahh… has some advantages fohhh… haaaAAARRSSHHHUH!”
“Bless you! You’re right… it’s definitely got some advantages for us!” she smiled, holding out her hands to him. “May I invite you to go back to bed?”
“Whatever you wish, m’lady!... Huhh… huuAAAASSHHHOO!”
This was the beginning of a very lucky Friday the thirteenth.
